Escape to Paradise: Portoselvaggio's Luxurious Italian Villaggio Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Portoselvaggio's Luxurious Italian Villaggio Awaits! (A Messy, Honest, and Utterly Human Review)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to spill the spaghetti on my experience at "Escape to Paradise: Portoselvaggio's Luxurious Italian Villaggio"! Forget the glossy brochure, let's talk real. I'm talking sun-drenched skin, questionable food choices (hey, it's Italy!), and the constant struggle to resist the urge to just… live in a bathrobe. This isn't a sterile hotel review; this is a journey of the soul, fueled by espressos and a healthy dose of cynicism.
Accessibility: The Good, The Okay, and the Tricky Staircase
Okay, first things first: this place tries with accessibility. The website boasts "Facilities for disabled guests," which is a good start. The Elevator is a godsend, especially after those insane pasta portions. I’m guessing they have Facilities for disabled guests, (though I didn't personally need them) it's good to know they’re attempting to be inclusive. Express Check-in/out is another bonus, who wants to stand around after a flight?
Now, the tricky part. I'm not in a wheelchair, but I'm a klutz. Some pathways around the villaggio felt a bit… "rustic." Meaning, uneven cobblestones that could become a tripping hazard for anyone not used to wearing the right shoes. (and I'm pretty sure the wrong shoes were the only ones in my luggage). Plus, if your room is a bit further out, be prepared for a mini-hike. This is something to be aware of.
Rooms: My Sanctuary of Slippers (and Free Wi-Fi!)
My room? A dream. Okay, maybe not a dream, more like a well-appointed, slightly-too-hot-at-night, but still-pretty-damn-good reality. The Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!? Bless. Seriously, a working human needs internet. This is especially important when you are writing a review. The Air Conditioning worked flawlessly, even if it was a tad loud. The Blackout curtains were a lifesaver for those late-night espresso-fueled existential crises.
And the Bathrobes? Oh, the bathrobes. I practically lived in that thing. The Slippers were also a nice touch. (Why do hotels always have such nice slippers?). The Seating area was perfect for brooding contemplations of the perfect Negroni. The Refrigerator was stocked…mostly with water cause I'm thrifty, but hey, it was there. The Complimentary tea was a lovely touch but let's be honest, I was there for the (paid) espresso. Not for a Coffee/tea maker in the room, but the coffee was amazing there, the Coffee shop gave me the fuel I needed.
Internet: A Lifeblood
I needed the internet. The Free Wi-Fi was reliable, thank god. Internet access – wireless was also good, good enough. I didn't try the Internet access – LAN because let's be honest, who the heck does that anymore?
Things to Do: From Spa Shenanigans to Poolside Prose
Okay, let’s get down to the juicy stuff. The Pool with a View… perfection. I spent a significant portion of my trip just floating, judging everyone's swimwear, and plotting my escape to a life of perpetual sunshine and pool lounging. The Swimming pool [outdoor] was the main focus, the Spa was good, not the best, but good. The Sauna was hot, like, really hot. The Steamroom was the opposite of the sauna. The Massage was… ah, yes. The massage. Okay, here's where things get a bit messy. I opted for the, I think it was a "relaxing" massage. Now, I’m not sure what exactly that means in Italian, but my masseuse was very dedicated. And let's just say, I left feeling… different. The Body scrub and Body wrap were good, but the massage… The Gym/fitness was available, as was the Fitness center, but I stuck with pool floats.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Carb-Loading in Paradise
Oh, the food. Mama Mia!. I'm a sucker for a good Italian meal, and this place does not disappoint. The Buffet in restaurant was a glorious, chaotic explosion of choices. The Western cuisine in restaurant menu was classic, the Asian cuisine in restaurant was also surprising good. The pasta was, naturally, the star. I had the Breakfast [buffet] every morning, a testament to how much I loved the selection. There were Asian breakfast options, but why would I chose that? There was Breakfast service, and the Breakfast takeaway service was a lifesaver for a quick morning excursion..
The Bar was a haven of Negronis and questionable life choices. The Poolside bar was even better. I spent quite a bit of time there. The Restaurants were amazing, the A la carte in restaurant was a treat. the Coffee/tea in restaurant was essential, as in the Snack bar. The Desserts in restaurant were to die for, literally. The food was amazing. I can say with certainty that my diet went out the window faster than my post-pasta regrets. There was a Vegetarian restaurant for those with more restraint than I have. The Happy hour deals were the best part of every day. Room service [24-hour] was a temptation that I tried to resist but ultimately failed. Bottle of water was always there. I did not try the Soup in restaurant or the Salad in restaurant.
Cleanliness and Safety: Germs Be Gone! (Hopefully)
In the age of… well, gestures vaguely at everything, cleanliness is paramount. I was relieved to see evidence of a serious effort. The Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, and Rooms sanitized between stays were all reassuring. They also had Hand sanitizer everywhere, which I appreciated. Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment, and the Sanitized kitchen and tableware items. I also noticed the CCTV in common areas and CCTV outside property. I did not use the First aid kit or need the Doctor/nurse on call. I think they did the right thing, but not enough to be on the forefront of my thoughts.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter
The Concierge was helpful, navigating the local landscape was a joy. The Daily housekeeping kept my room looking respectable, even though I actively tried to mess it up. The Luggage storage was a lifesaver. The Dry cleaning and Laundry service came in handy. The Air conditioning in public area worked. The Currency exchange was there in the business center.
For the Kids: Not My Department, But…
I don't have kids, but I noticed some amenities geared towards families. There's a Babysitting service, Family/child friendly options, and Kids facilities and Kids meal.
Getting Around: Airport Transfer, and all that
They provided an Airport transfer which was incredibly convenient. The Car park [free of charge] was a bonus. There was also Car park [on-site] and Valet parking but I opted for the free option, and the Taxi service was available.
Overall Vibe: Should You Go?
Absolutely. Despite the minor imperfections (that dodgy staircase!), this place is a slice of heaven. It's the kind of place where you can lose yourself in relaxation, indulge in delicious food, and maybe, just maybe, find a little bit of paradise.
Here's a slightly over-the-top offer to entice you, my dear reader:
Escape to Paradise: Portoselvaggio's Luxurious Italian Villaggio Awaits!
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Ben Hall Motor Inn: Forbes' Best-Kept Secret (Luxury Getaway!)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into my (potentially disastrous) Italian adventure at the Hotel Resort Portoselvaggio Villaggio Resta. This isn't your perfectly curated Insta-travel itinerary, oh no. This is the real deal, the messy, glorious, "pray for me" version.
Pre-Trip Meltdown (aka Packing Panic):
- Date: One week before departure.
- Location: My apartment, currently resembling a clothing bomb exploded.
- Mood: Utter chaos. Tears (happy, then despairing, then "is that a stain?").
- Incident: Realizing my carry-on (the one I thought was "stylish and compact") is actually the size of a shoebox. And I, apparently, own a small country's worth of "essential" travel items.
- Rant Italian fashion is the bane of my (and my suitcase's) existence. How do they do it? Silk scarfs and tailored pants, and on my (slightly chunky, post-pandemic) body… a mess. I might have to buy a whole new wardrobe there at the resort… that's an expensive nightmare… or a heavenly dream.
Day 1: Arrival & Initial Italian Overwhelm
- Time: 8:00 AM - Travel day starts (ugh).
- Flight: Delayed of course, thanks to those low-cost airlines… It's fine, I have snacks and an unhealthy attachment to my book.
- Arrival at Brindisi Airport: Breathe in that Italian air! It smells of… well, it smells of Italy. And probably also a bit of jet fuel.
- Transfer to Portoselvaggio: The car rental guy looked like he’d just stepped out of a Fellini film. Wild hair, a cigarette perpetually dangling from his lips… I'm already in love with this place. Navigation is proving interesting (I'm pretty sure I just drove through a tiny tunnel built for… well, definitely not a Fiat 500).
- Hotel Check-in: Smooth (thank god). The lobby is stunning, a riot of white and turquoise. My room? Balcony with a sea view = pure bliss. Though I'm pretty sure the air conditioning sounds like a dying walrus. Small problem. I can manage.
- Afternoon: Immediate plunge into the pool. The water is that perfect, sparkling turquoise everyone raves about. So relaxing, so perfect.
- Emotional Rollercoaster: An hour later? Sunburn setting in (forgot sunscreen, obviously). Regret. Panic. Then, a gelato saved the day. Pistachio, of course. Life is good again.
- Evening: Dinner at the resort restaurant. The pasta… oh, the pasta. Carb overload, but worth it. Accidentally spilled red wine down my (newly purchased) white linen pants. My attempts to cover the stain with my "stylish" scarf looked like a crime scene.
Day 2: The Beach, the Hike, and the Near-Death Experience (Dramatic Pause)
- Morning: Beach time! The Portoselvaggio beach is supposed to be stunning. I didn't realize the stunning part involved navigating a steep, rocky path to get there. Apparently, good views require effort.
- Incident: Did I mention my shoes aren't exactly hiking-appropriate? Picture me, teetering on precarious boulders in my fashionable sandals.
- Beach Bliss: The water is crystal clear, the rocks are… slippery. Found a secluded cove. Pure, unadulterated beauty. Except then I got splashed by a rogue wave. My phone might have been in my bag.
- Afternoon: Hike through the pine forest. I (foolishly) thought I was prepared. I was wrong. Hills. Sweat. The relentless Italian sun beating down. Halfway point, I might have considered laying down and taking a nap. The only thing keeping me upright was the view of the sea.
- Incident: Almost stepping on a snake. Screaming. Running. My heart still hasn't returned to normal speed.
- Evening: Dinner at the tiny trattoria in a nearby village. Home-cooked food, real Italian goodness. The elderly woman who served me looked like she'd seen a thousand lifetimes. She kept making gestures and pointing at me, I understood no Italian, but I did get a plate of pasta with a sauce that tasted like heaven.
- Reflections: Today was a day of intense physical effort, almost tragedy, and incredible beauty. I'm falling deeper in love with this place, even with the challenges.
Day 3: Doubling Down On the Experience; A Day Dedicated to the Sea
- Focus: Finally mastering the art of truly relaxing. I was not on vacation to hike and almost get killed by snakes. I'm on vacation for the sea!
- Morning: A kayaking expedition. Glorious! Paddling through crystal-clear water, past hidden coves. The sun felt almost perfect. I even saw some fish!
- Afternoon: Snorkeling. I am, by no means, a water person. I'm more of a "sit-on-the-beach-and-look-at-the-sea" type. And so, with a massive amount of effort and awkward flailing, I attempted to swim! And I saw things! Tiny little fishes, darting between colorful coral. It was a beautiful world, just beneath the surface. I took one look and decided to remain a "sit-on-the-beach" type… at least for now.
- Incident: Accidentally swallowing a mouthful of seawater. Tasted like… seawater.
- Late Afternoon: Lounging on the beach, reading, drinking Aperol Spritz. Pure, unadulterated bliss. I even perfected the art of the "stylish scarf-as-sun-protection" look. (It's still a bit messy, though)
- Evening: Seafood feast at the resort. I tried every kind of fish that I could get my hands on. Washed it down with a glass of wine. Perfect, absolutely perfect.
Day 4: Culture Shock, Souvenir Shopping, and Farewell Tears (Possible)
- Morning: Trip to Lecce (the "Florence of the South"). Baroque architecture galore. Mind-blowing, and overwhelming. I got lost in a maze of narrow streets.
- Incident: Almost getting run over by a Vespa. (Is this a daily occurrence in Italy?)
- Afternoon: Souvenir shopping. I bought way too many things (pottery, leather goods, a ridiculous hat). Everything is so. Beautiful. And so much better than anything back home.
- Evening: Last dinner at the resort. Feeling sentimental. Reflecting on the trip. Considering extending my stay forever.
- Emotional Reaction: Is that a tear? Maybe two? (Or five?) I swear, I am not usually this emotional. But this place… It stole my heart.
- Rambling Thoughts: The food, the people, the landscapes… It's all just… magic. This trip was filled with imperfections and ridiculous calamities. I could be having a terrible time, BUT I LOVE IT! The people, the food, the scenery… and even the near-death encounters. It's all part of the adventure.
- Final Note: I'm not sure I'm ready to leave.
Day 5: Departure (Sobbing Expected)
- Morning: The dread of packing again. Realizing I overspent.
- Activity: Final walk on the beach. One last swim.
- Incident: Tears. Actual, full-on, embarrassing tears.
- Departure: Airport. Plane. Endless flight home. The promise of a diet of regret as I get on the scale at home.
- Final Thoughts: Italy, you were a rollercoaster. You were a gorgeous mess. And I can't wait to come back and mess myself up again! I'll be back.
(Note: This itinerary is subject to change. Adventures, mishaps, and gelato consumption may occur at any time.)
Phuket Paradise Found: Your Dream Harmony Villa Awaits!
ESCAPE TO PARADISE: PORTOSELVAGGIO'S ITALIAN VILLAGGIO - FAQ (with a Side of Honesty)
So, is Portoselvaggio actually *paradise*? Because, you know, marketing and all that…
For me? Day one: epic fail. Packed the wrong sandals. Endless blisters. Couldn't even *walk* to the beach without looking like a wounded Victorian. So, paradise? Delayed. Revised. But definitely within reach, eventually, after a pharmacy run. And a new pair of shoes. And maybe some wine...
The Villaggio… what’s it *really* like? Is it all polished perfection?
I'll rewind. Remember that "charming" part? Yeah, well, charming also translates to "a few steps from my room to this tiny, steep, cobbled lane, in 35-degree heat." Not ideal for a sunset stroll when you have a sprained ankle. (Don't ask. Long story involving a rogue gelato and a slippery rock.)
The perfection? Nope. There's the slightly wonky plumbing in one of the villas (which, thankfully, my husband is pretty handy with). And the stray cat population, which, while adorable, had a *vocal* nighttime concerto that was not conducive to sleep. But the uneven tiles and the occasional leaky tap? Part of the charm, I decided eventually. Just embrace the imperfections, people!
Food! Tell me about the food! Because… Italy.
First night? Pasta. Handmade. With clams. I may have licked the plate. I definitely considered it. Then there was the fresh-caught seafood grilled with rosemary... *chef's kiss* (literally). Pizza? Forget everything you *think* you know about pizza. This was next level. Thin crust. Perfectly charred. Simple ingredients, exquisitely executed.
The bread? Don't even get me started. I may have gained five pounds. Worth. Every. Calorie. Seriously, my only regret is that I didn't bring a suitcase *just* for all the delicious leftovers. You HAVE to try the local olive oil!
What's the best way to spend a day in Portoselvaggio?
Morning: Wake up. Ideally before 9 am, but I can't entirely guarantee that after the aforementioned cat concert. Coffee on the balcony. Watch the sun hit the water. Then, and this is crucial, head down to the beach. Early. Before the crowds. Find yourself a little nook.
Next: Swim! Snorkel. Get lost in the crystal clarity of the water. Try not to think about work. Or laundry. Hard, I know. But you *need* it. Lunch: Simple. Fresh. Something you can eat with your toes still sandy: fresh-baked focaccia, and some of that amazing cheese.
Afternoon: Take a boat. They're small, and easy. Explore the coves. Get a sunburn. (wear sunscreen! I learned the hard way.)
Evening: Sunset drinks at a bar overlooking the water. Pasta. Laughter. Maybe another bottle of wine. Repeat. Every. Single. Day. until you have to leave. And then you fight with yourself to not extend the trip
Is it kid-friendly? Be honest!
If your kids are happy to explore, swim, and appreciate good food (and can handle a little bit of walking!), then yes, it can be wonderful. If they're expecting non-stop entertainment and chicken nuggets, maybe… consider a different destination. Or prepare yourself for some serious negotiation. And maybe a LOT of screen time.
Are there any things I should definitely pack?
This is crucial. First, bring really, REALLY comfortable sandals. Seriously. You’ll be doing a lot of walking. Trust me. Pack a decent hat. Sunscreen is your best friend.. Bring a small backpack for the beach – you’ll want to carry water, snacks, and a trash bag. And a small phrasebook or translation app. (Knowing a few basics of Italian elevates the experience immensely!). Cash! Not everywhere takes cards.
And, and this is important: a sense of adventure! And a willingness to embrace the unplanned. Because in Portoselvaggio, things *will* happen. Like getting lost at sunset on a winding path and finding a tiny, family-run restaurant that serves the best *frittura mista* you’ve ever tasted. And that’s what it’s all about, right? Embracing the chaos and the unexpected delights.
Okay, so… bad stuff? What’s the downside? Don't sugarcoat it.
Firstly, it's not cheap. Expect to pay a premium for the experience. Secondly, and this is a big one, the mosquitos! Oh, the mosquitos. Bring the strongest bug spray you can find. Stock. Up. Otherwise you'll be doing the itchy dance all night. Thirdly, and this is a minor quibble, some of the villas are VERY close together, so you might hear your neighbors.
And finally, the biggest drawback if you ask meHotel Whisperer
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